Monday, April 25, 2011


How often we hear people say “I’ll be there when you need me” and how often do we say the same to someone? Do we always follow through? Out of ten people maybe an odd one or two are really there when we need them in our hour of need. And those are really precious friends that are worth treasuring. It’s almost become a clichéd line nowadays. I think people feel pompous and superior about themselves when they say “Don’t worry, I’ll be there” but they are nowhere in sight when you really need them. It’s almost like saying “Hey I am in a far better place and I know what you are going through, so holler if you need me”.
The following lines are a figment of my imagination, a rather extreme case scenario. But truth is when you trust someone and when you need that someone and he or she is not there for you, you “die” a little, heartbroken. But you cannot lose the faith and the hope.

The grey asphalt turns crimson
As she lay there…
Her twisted body
Wasting and bleeding.
Her heart pumping
The last remnants
Of her blood
While her mind
Grapples between
The life that remains by a thread
And her undying belief…
“He will be here, I need him now”
Hope like the last frayed tendons
Clinging on to her battered bones
Cannot give up…
He promised…
The crowd gathers around
Panic and fear written on their faces
Her eyes search for that one face
That one voice…
“I’ll be there baby”
The tendons are snapping away
Like elastic…
Hope is slipping away
As she is fading
A lone tear slides down
“Where is he?”
She cries in silence…
Her eyelids are heavy
They need to shut
One last time…
The crowd suddenly parts
She sees him through
Her tears and haze
He reaches out to her
“I am here baby”
As his teardrops fall
On her bruised face
She looks at him
With love and tenderness
Her eyes finally close
And a blissful smile
Stays planted on her lips
Hope and Faith
Triumphing once again

I leave you with a link to one of my favorite songs… Mariah Carey’s “I’ll be there”


 Honored Yet Again By Jim Brandano 

I told Jim the other day that we have a mutual admiration society here. I follow his blog religiously and he never misses to visit mine and leave a comment. So when he said he wanted me to write something to go with his picture I was taken aback. I was thrilled and felt honored. I was not sure I would be able to write something because most of what I write is what I feel. I cannot write unless I am touched by something. I was anxious to see what Jim had in mind, what kind of picture he would send. But the moment I saw the picture I fell in love with it. The first thought that came to my mind was Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and the wedding of Titania and Oberon. The picture had such a dream like quality to it that I wrote the poem effortlessly. Thank you Jim for believing I could write something for your photo. I hope I have been able to do justice to Jim’s photo of Antonio and Wendy. This is also a tribute to them and their soon to be born baby. God bless you.You can see the post in Jim's blog too (

A mid summer’s night…
Above the sky like a cape
Is adorned with thousands
Of twinkling gems…
The moon looks down
As pure and white
Like never before…
The forest is alive tonight.
Silky winged fairies
Light the forest night
With their tiny wands
Every bush and shrub
Glow with a magical sheen
With tiny lanterns
Hung by elves…
The air is filled
With the sweet scent
Of blossoms that
Dance to the
Sway of the trees
Every creature
Every living being
Await in awe…
She glides towards him
Her Antonio
Handsome and regal
She is Wendy
In her gossamer gown
Beautiful almost ethereal
Their eyes meet…
The moment is electrifying
A hush descends…
Only the tinkle of bells
As they are gently
Caressed by the faint breeze
And in the distance
The strings of a harp
Strum this magical night
He takes her in his arms
And as his lips descend
On her upturned mouth
The world is enraptured
As it witnesses
Another union…
Another coming together of one
In mind, body and soul
Of two lovers

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Cord

The scalpel glistens…
I lay in a room
Of white dazzling lights
Screaming voices in my head
“Cut it! Sever it now!
This leads nowhere!”
While another…
“Hold on! Don’t give up!
There may be hope!
Perhaps a miracle…”
Angry words hurled…
Arguments buzzing…
My mind reeling…
As each crave for control.
A third that of
Despair and Helplessness
Weeps in silence
Caught between the two
I scurry from one to the other
Wanting and yet not
The shining blade
Rising amidst the chaos…
Hope cajoles and pleads…
Reason is ruthless…
And Despair cries, confused
The sharp blade comes down
In one fell swoop!
Reason wins…
I brace for the impact
The excruciating pain
Before numbness sets in…
A jolt and a start!
I wake in my bed
Heart beating
Breath coming in gasps
Bathed in sweat
As realization dawns
The cord remains…
The one that holds me to you…

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

One Of Those Days....

One Of Those Days…

Somber and grey
Dull and listless
Colors of a sky
Spent with the lashings
Of an early morning storm…
A dark discontent
Weighs on my shoulder
Heavy and brooding,
Inner peace and joy
Dissipate into nothingness
No match to this
Malevolent malcontent…
Shrugging and shoving
Leaves me weary
Today it is here
To prey…
My ringtone,
Rings without fail
With clockwork precision
You never miss a queue
Your “I love you”
Across oceans
Like rays of a warm
Tropical sun
Leave me cold this day…
A chilling thought
Races across the
Corridors of my
Dispassionate mind
“I love you no more”
The doorway to
Passion and desire are shut…
The key lost
In the labyrinth
Of hopelessness and futility
Outside the world comes alive
The last drip-drop
From leaf to leaf
Fall in staccato
Man and beast
Step on to another day
Leaving a warm hearth
While I sit alone
In my dark today
Waiting for a tomorrow
Of renewed love
To warm my cold heart
Today’s hallucination
Another past…

Monday, April 18, 2011

Meme....tagged by Alpana Jaiswal, Jim Brandano and Sulekha Rawat

“MEME” has been doing the rounds for quite awhile now in the blogging world. I was first tagged by the beautiful, lovable and passionate blogger, Alpana Jaiswal in her blog Thank you, darling for the honor.

 I thought to myself that I should give it sometime. I really am at a loss for words when it comes to answering questions. I can never think of witty retorts or obvious ones. So I stalled till ….

I try and not miss any new post by Jim Brandano in his versatile blog and guess what? I was TAGGED! This is the second time Jim has honored me. First it was the Versatile Blogger Award and today this. Thank you, Jim. We have a mutual admiration society here. I love your photography and your style of writing.

I was just getting down to it when my Outlier, my soul sister Sulekha Rawat called me last night to say she has tagged me in Meme. Oh boy, now I really have to follow through. Sulekha is a prolific writer, funny, sensitive, witty, romantic. Her blog is a canvas of her thoughts, emotions and humor.

So here we go:

1.      If you could go back in time to relive one moment, what would it be?
If I could go back in time I would want to be with my father before he left us all of a sudden. I never did get much of a chance to tell him how much I loved him and cared for him.

2.     If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
Nothing, absolutely nothing! I accept all that life has given me, no regrets, no looking back.
3.     What movie or TV character you think you resemble most in personality?
I think I am too much of a split personality to think of any one personality that I may remotely resembleJ!!!

4.     Which TV or movie character would you like to be?
Jenny Seagrove in the mini-series A Woman of Substance. She was beautiful, strong willed, feminine, and a formidable business woman.

5.     If you could push one person in the whole world off a cliff and get away with it, who would it be?
I am all the time hanging by the edge of a cliff, trying to clamber out to high ground. So even if I wanted to which I don’t I wouldn’t be able to. Life is too beautiful to live in hate.

6.     Name one habit you want to change in yourself.
              I want to love myself more.

7.     Describe yourself in one word.

8.     Describe the person who named you in this MEME in one word.
              Alpana Jaiswal : Childlike
              Jim Brandano: Talented
             Sulekha Rawat: Sensitive   

9.     Why do you blog? Answer in one sentence.
It is a place where you can express your thoughts and feelings and also be appreciated.

10.  Name at least 3 people or more people to send this MEME, and then inform them.

Rachel Holt, Sukanya Bora and Mary Hudac Collins… their wit, humor, strength of character, sensitivity is reflected in their writing. I love visiting their blogs. Don’t miss them!

11.  Link back to the person who tagged you in this meme.
Thank you Alapana, Jim and Sulekha.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Pitter - Patter Afternoon

The sky booms,
A flash of light
Streaks the grey sky
The welcome pitter patter
Quenches the
Sun baked earth
Gaia is appeased…
Her earthy smell
Fills the damp air
Promising new life
As every crack
Become tiny rivulets,
A birth prepares to
Burst forth with zeal…
A nameless bud
Or a succulent
Tender shoot.
The green strokes
Are greener
As each leaf and foliage awash,
Adorn a fresh
New look
A palpable rejuvenation
Throbs in them
While the vibrant blossoms
Nod at each other
As a light breeze
Carry their fragrant essence
I sit once again
By my window
I breathe in the freshness
And come alive.
In the distant
The thunder rumbles
And I wish…
Oh how I wish
You were here
On this glorious afternoon
To witness what I see…
This divine masterpiece!

Sunday, April 10, 2011



An orchestra of chirping
Resonate the lazy afternoon
As I lay listening,
Their rhapsodic symphony
Lulls me in my silence…
Somewhere in the distant
The rhythmic pounding
Of a hammer on wood
Add to the sultry sonata
A warm breeze
Creeps in through
The open window
Fanning my moist brow…
My heavy eyes droop
And as I step into
A dreamless slumber
My thoughts traverse
The distance to you…
The thousand miles
Crumble into timelessness.
I find myself by your side
Your gentle beating heart
Becomes mine…
I sigh and I smile
As I turn in your arms
Dreaming your dream…
Somewhere in the distant
An owl hoots
His mate stirs by his side
Perched, slumbering as one…
While the starry night
Stand in silent vigil.

Saturday, April 9, 2011


“Nothing hurts like indifference”, our teacher had once told us while teaching Shakespeare. These words have stayed with me through the years. I believed in them. You may love or hate a person with a passion but they are still emotions ruled by the heart and by doing so you give control to that person. He or she can still affect you; they have a power over you. But when indifference comes into play you become devoid of any emotions, the object of your indifference ceases to exist in your world – he is frustrated, he is insecure, he feels helpless because no matter what he does or say has any effect on you. He doesn’t matter to you anymore. Imagine his impotency! He may dance around stark naked in front of you for all you care!

But today I question this. Are we truly devoid of feelings when we become indifferent? I think not. Indifference always stems from hurt, anger, resentment, helplessness and frustration. These negative emotions are suppressed when we become indifferent towards a person but they do not really go away. They lie dormant somewhere deep within us only to manifest themselves in another situation.  You may no longer have those negative feelings towards that particular person but sooner or later they raise their ugly head. So we don’t really heal then, do we? And as we move on we carry these emotions with us as baggage. We may enjoy the feeling of power we have when we see the other person grovel and make futile efforts to get our attention but it is only a temporary thing. It is only a façade, this sense of pleasure which is almost sadistic because as we move on thinking we are free, we are not. We are not at peace; we are unhappy; we still haven’t found the joy, love and peace that are within all of us, that is us, our true essence.

I have tried indifference many times but except for that short term sense of victory that I have overcome pain and will find happiness, I am back to square one feeling miserable and dissatisfied. I still carry pain with me and often break down. By being indifferent all we do is push our negativity to one corner. All the hurt and pain caused by a person does not leave us if we become indifferent to him or her. It is only a reaction to the pain and hurt caused. Even the line “Nothing hurts like indifference” is negative. “Hurt”? Why? Just because you are hurt so hurt back? Will that give us peace? No it won’t. It hasn’t given me so far! Eckhart Tolle very simply explains what is true power in the following lines.

“Somebody says something to you that is rude or designed to hurt. Instead of going into unconscious reaction and negativity, such as attack, defense, or withdrawal, you let it pass right through you. Offer no resistance. It is as if there is nobody there to get hurt anymore. That is forgiveness. In this way, you become invulnerable. You can still tell that person that his or behavior is unacceptable, if that is what you choose to do. But that person no longer has the power to control your inner state. You are then in your power – not in someone else’s, nor are you run by your mind.” (The Power of NOW)

Forgiveness, surrender, non resistance, yielding, acceptance are words used again and again by our spiritual masters. They may seem like words only for the weak but they are not. They have tremendous power and it takes immense courage to practice them.