Has anyone felt that they have been in an abyss, that feeling of sinking deeper and deeper into a black hole with no light in sight? I have been in many such dark impenetrable holes, most were scary experiences, but there was an exception. It was the day my son was born.
He was born on 29th March ’94, eleven days premature. Due to complications I had to opt for having doctors cut me up. The amniotic fluid was slowly dissipating and my baby was getting cramped inside the walls of his home, my womb. The efficient doctors led me on a stretcher to the OT and the anesthetist kept murmuring sweet nothings to me as he injected me with general anesthesia. I don’t know when it took over but before I knew I was plummeting into an abyss, dark and cold. My silent screams did nothing to stop my fall. It was frightening at first but then flashes of thoughts crossed my mind. I was not alone in that dark hole, my thoughts were my company… but uppermost was of my baby, waiting to hear the miracle workers from up there to give me news of my baby.
Finally I heard them…. I cannot express the feeling of elation as snatches of conversation filtered down. It was a boy! From what I could gather in that dank hole with its cold walls was that everything was fine, he was a normal baby. I remember thanking god for this miracle. But my happiness was short-lived. The walls came caving in when I heard them give an anxious exclamation. I knew something was wrong and I helplessly prayed at that moment. Please god let my baby be alright.
God did hear my prayers that day in that abyss and my baby turned out to be fine. The problem was with me. They discovered a cyst that had to be operated. So by the time they were ready to sew me up, I was almost out of that abyss. I felt every pain of them stitching me back. My screams were just a silent echo as I held on to my sanity. I knew I had to get out of that hole to see my bundle of joy. When I held him that night in my arms I promised to protect him and love him with my being.
Today this bundle of joy is almost seventeen. He protects me more than I. We have had our tumultuous journey together and we know there will be more to overcome as well smell the flowers along the way. I have come a long way from that abyss, often plunging into deeper ones but that dive into that one on that fateful day is something I will cherish till the end.