VOICES....

VOICES

  Demons in my head

Mock me

With their ugly cacophony

They whisper to me…

You are on your own

They tell me…

The lost one that was found

Has no desire, no will

To hold your hand

Let go…live life

You were never worthy.

Throngs of loved ones

Encourage and cocoon

Me in their warmth and yet…

I am alone, so lone

You, my beloved

Sealed my lonely destiny

Pleas and appeals are stifled

As my woeful cries,

Are lost in this tempest of despair

Alone I stand once again

Facing a desolate path

Fear and dread

Grip me like tentacles

I have no choice…

The lonesome trail calls me

Without you,

Solitude as my companion

We walk hand in hand.

Time will heal…

Life has its own story to unfold

Of spinning your fate

Be patient…

My beloved ones tell me…

All sound meaningless and hollow.

Lost and floundering

I plunge deeper

Into my abyss of hopelessness

You, my soul, my other half

Resolute in your choice

Like an oak stand strong…

As I watch on helpless

My mind reeling and grappling

With this stark truth…

You were never mine.

So you banish me forever

To a lifetime of pain and longing.

Yet I cannot let go, not yet

They snicker and laugh

You are doomed…

The cruel voices in my head say…

You were never meant to be

Just a fancy distraction

Is all you will be…

Their uproar deafens me

Torn and tortured

I flee to the momentary comfort

Of your love, of your voice once again.

Powerless

POWERLESS...

You fade away

Into the distant horizon

A mere shadow now.

As I watch you

Walk away

The splintering of our

Broken hearts

Resonate in the

Desolate, empty landscape.

Words hold no meaning

Anymore…

As they die on my parched lips.

I want to reach out

And yet hesitate…

Our intertwined fingers

Now a foregone dream.

The cold winds scatter

The ashes of our love.

I watch your

Receding back…

Each resolute step away

Shattering my heart…

There’s no looking back

As you stride towards a new dawn,

A new beginning

With a sigh of relief

On your sensuous lips…perhaps.

Love is crushed

As rage, agony, jealousy, hopelessness

Dance in triumph.

Pulling the strings

Of my puppet heart

They possess me

Demented I stab my heart

Again and again…

While you watch powerless…

Us lost forever.

Us...

Us....

As you gathered me in your gentle arms

The chaos that raged in me ceased….

Like the ebb of the tide

The tumultuous angry waves of my thoughts calmed.

Just you and that embrace

And my doubts and fears were laid to rest.

I was home again.

As you parted my hungry lips

My slumbering soul came alive…

You breathed life into me again

With those sensuous tender lips

And as I took in the nectar of our love

I was born again.

As you unfurled the petals of my being

I surrendered to our dance of ecstasy…

With our limbs intertwined

I danced in tune with your rhythmic body

And my heart soared with passion.

I was one with you again.

As we lay in each other’s arms

Spent and sated…

I etched the very essence of you in my heart

To walk me through the lost and lonely days

That would hound my emptiness.

Us, a memory once again.

Then and Now

THEN AND NOW

There was a time…

I would look into your fathomless eyes

And see our world reflected

In their warm depths.

Our souls would traverse the

Spaces between us

And we would fuse as one.

There was a time…..

I would seek your tender touch

In the dark of the night

And find you next to my heart.

You would hold my hand

And lead me to the light

Of our tomorrow.

There was a time….

I would be cocooned in the silken expanse

Of your generous loving arms

And believe it could be for a lifetime.

With wings unfurled we would fly

Through strife and turmoil

To make our home, our haven.

There was a time…

I would listen to your soothing voice

As terrifying silence grip me

And would be lulled like a child.

Calmed and soothed

You and I would dream

Of a world of possibilities and hope.

Today comes a time….

Your deep eyes hold no promise.

My soul awakens still,

To your tender, magical fingers.

As my tired soul rests on your rhythmic heart

I hear its whisperings of desire,

Wanting yet tied by bonds stronger than ours.

Your words wound and break me

And all I can do is bleed….

Words

WORDS

Words, loving words

Of hope and promise

Are all they give her.

Like petals of flowers

Caressing her very core

Softly and gently,

She is carried away by them

To another world

Of dreams come true.

But they are just words

Trivial sweet nothings…

Words, compassionate words

Laced with sweet love, their words

Soothe and lull her

Gullible and believing heart.

 She is a princess

Loved and cherished,

Her soul soars to another realm

Of courage and honor,

Integrity and honesty.

But they are just words

Pitiable sweet nothings…

Words, eloquent poetic words

They all whisper to her.

She surrenders to them

Lost and hungry souls that they are...

They take her love to

Celebrate their life in its splendor

Find meaning to their

Mundane drudgery of a life.

She accepts every morsel

Believing every confession that pours forth.

But they are just words

Empty sweet nothings…                    

Waiting…..

 Waiting....

She stands gazing into the distant horizon

Waiting….for a glimpse.

The lashing winds from faraway lands

Murmurs to her of a love

That brings a smile to her hungry lips.

Every line etched on her face

Has a story to tell….

Tales of adventure and misadventure

Of pain and longing

Of joy and happiness

Of agony and ecstasy.

She shivers as darkness gathers around her

Remembering ….the warmth  

Of that first embrace.

Arms that had engulfed her

With her sorrows, woes and tragedies.

A lost soul, floundering

In the maze of her life

Till he showed her….

A life of love laden days

Of respect and dignity

Of promise and trust.

She listens to the rustle of falling leaves

Mocking and cackling at her

Waiting…..eternally for a promise

Given in a moment of tenderness.

Her dark luminous eyes are pools of dying embers

Hiding in their depths her buried desires and passion.

An unfaltering silhouette,

A sentry of timelessness

She waits….for him.

Months, seasons, years roll into decades…

Yet, for her the hands of time stand still,

Mourning and yet pregnant with hope

She waits…..her endless vigil.

From the Ashes…

FROM THE ASHES

The ashes of their devastation

Swirl around them,

Dark and impenetrable…

The stench of burning flesh

Fill the night

Charred bones stare vacantly

What once had been life

Now lay scattered, cold and dying.

“Free at last from the horrors”

She thinks…

For a moment shackles of what had been

Tie her to him in an uncanny way,

Glimpses of joy and laughter

Of the past bind her.

Caught in a web of compassion

She looks at him,

A star that had once been

Now burnt and fallen,

And sheds a tear…

The world of make belief that was once

Lay shattered around them

Lies, deceit and blame

No longer hold the power

To bleed her…

They lay helpless, torn and twisted.

“Why” she cries out to the swirling darkness?

Silence greets her as she stands alone

Amongst the ravaged rubble.

The carnage of two lives

That had raged and ranted

Has finally died…

Picking up what is left of her soul

She takes one last look at him,

A star that had once been

Now burnt and fallen

And sheds a tear…

The road to another lonely journey

Calls out to her

She has no choice but to

Follow this strife laden new path

To ride storms yet to come.

Broken but not without spirit

She sighs as she trudges

Towards the unknown, the perilous

Holding the innocent hand of her flesh

She braces to face the strife and turmoil of life.

“Help me God” the shattered pieces of her heart

Cry out to the dark sky

The winds carry her prayer

She holds her innocent one close to her.

Remembering him once more,

A star that had once been

Now burnt and fallen,

She sheds a tear…